Laurie had been on birth control for more than 12 years. When you consider that there’s a 1 in 200 (99.5%) chance of getting pregnant on her birth control, we couldn’t help but believe that we were witness to a miracle. We had experienced a few miracles in our lifetime, but getting pregnant with all the odds against us, was the greatest miracle of all.
Laurie didn’t figure out she was pregnant until month two. Had she taken those chemotherapy pills that she intuitively rejected a few weeks earlier, her pregnancy would have to be terminated immediately. I learned never to underestimate a woman’s intuition.
Over the 7 months of her pregnancy, Laurie never felt better. She was swimming and walking and doing all the things she wished she could do before her pregnancy. Later I learned that it’s not unusual for a sick woman’s hormones to push her disease into remission. It was a beautiful time filled with love and compassion. Her pregnancy brought us even closer. It was bliss.
We discussed a few names. Laurie, being the consummate New Ager suggested we name her Earth Song. We had a good laugh over that one. But then we remembered that sad poem I wrote for her 12 years before. Sky Meadow Harms was born premature at 28 weeks (just 4 pounds, 7 ounces), but she was absolutely perfect and healthy. We were home three days later, hopelessly in love with our little miracle that we were told, and Laurie believed, would “never” be born. Cradling Sky in her arms, Laurie looked at me and said what every husband wants to hear at least once in his lifetime – “You were right.”
Laurie lived for another two and a half years. She witnessed Sky’s first steps, her first words and got to see her fledgling personality shine through. Although six months after Sky was born, Laurie experienced the most violent two years of her disease, she fought to be Sky’s mom for as long as she could. It was as if her disease had given her a break (finally) to have a healthy pregnancy, but then returned to same degeneration after Sky was born.
Laurie said our love kept her fighting to stay alive after her first major surgery, but now she was fighting to stay alive for Sky. Sky gave her life the meaning she longed for. Even though her countdown had begun, she would leave me a gift with worth beyond measure.
Today, Sky is an extremely smart, sweet, funny, well-mannered, beautiful little girl. Her name is a daily reminder of a time when I foolishly believed in Never. Despite all the struggle, eventually even losing my soul mate, Sky gives me the feeling that it was all worth it – that in the end, I came out ahead. Having this beautiful creature depend on me, helped me to quickly pick myself up after Laurie died. I had to move forward with my life for the both of us.
Laurie believed that in the spiritual plane, Sky had chosen us to be her parents. She also believed that Sky was born to change the consciousness of the world. On this Earthly plane of existence, Sky gave Laurie the satisfaction of knowing that her life had purpose. And even in death, through Sky, her spirit would live on.
Just like her mommy, Sky hams it up for the camera on an impromptu photo shoot at Grandma’s beach house. – Algarrobo, Chile